Found out yesterday that one of my songs from Wish It All Away, Finding It Hard,  has been picked up by Moo Moo music, who are major suppliers of music to cafes, bar, restaurants etc across Australia.  I’m pleased of course, but I guess of all the songs on the album, I would have thought this one would be the least likely.

Unlike most of my songs, which I am able to put down in a day or two, this one took months.  Not necessarily to write line by line, but to relay how I felt, and to get it out of my system and onto that page.  It was 2 months of my life that were – fairly hard. Of course this should be taken into context, as sure I wasn’t starving, or dying, but simply coming to terms with my past.

I lived in London for 3-4 years, and once I had had enough, and the UK Government agreed, by not renewing my visa, I packed my bags and went back to Perth.  When I got back I kind of expected nothing to have changed, but of course it did.

My family had moved down south, but the house was still for sale, so I stayed there on my own, and in all my life I’ve never felt so out of place.   4 bedrooms with nobody in it.  Me back in my city, in my old room, with barely nothing remaining, sitting at an old desk, staring into the mirror wondering what on earth I was doing.

To make matters worse, most of my friends had moved away, and then there was that ghost of a girl, who just wouldn’t leave me alone.

After 2 months of isolation, and coming to terms with the new state of the world, I wrote Finding It Hard…whilst sitting at that desk.

I hope somebody sipping their latte in Manly understands…

Finding It Hard, Track 9 – Wish It All Away

Hey, I bet your suprised to hear from me
It hasn’t been that long but it seems an eternity
And If I could I would set the record straight
I’m so sorry that we ended up this way

But there were times I would love to relive
But maybe you deserve more than I can give
You’ve got every reason to shoot me down in flames
To turn your head and say we’ll never speak again.

And I’m finding it hard, these days
I’m finding it all so hard to take
And if only these memories could fade away
I wouldn’t have to feel this shame

I guess some things, are just meant to be
And it’s hard to walk within these walls defining me
But is it me you see when you drift into sleep?
As you should know, you drift into me. (If only you knew, you drifted into me…)

And I’m finding it hard, these days
I’m finding it all so hard to take
And if only these memories could fade away
I would have to feel this shame

Sundays in the studio are mostly about the coffee and the paper. Between takes I’m reading about how crap my footy team was last night. Hardly inspiring.

As a bit of a #socialmelb nerd I volunteered to bash out a few acoustic numbers with Bridget for Social Media Day at the Fad Gallery in Melbourne.  Me as sound guy and performer is never a good one two punch, but I think we managed to get it right almost by the time we finished : )

@timbull caught a snap of us (below), and a few CD’s were distributed.  @thatgirl_chloe, @katekendall, @busichic  all picked up a copy and @leslieCbarry who bought a copy after the gig (thank you!).   Those that want one, please either donate, or download (with email address) using the links to the right. 

Keen to see what you guys think!  Thanks @socialmelb for a great night!

A few people have kindly asked how the recording of the 2nd album is going.  I not so kindly ask myself this very question about 10 times a day and I can only say it’s coming along slowly.

To understand the challenge you must understand some of the context.

The first album I forked out a few dollars and headed to a local studio in Rozelle, Sydney.  I had put this off longer the Ruddy and the Carbon Emission Trading Scheme, and it was high time I got some help.  With no tattoo’s, a non abusive father, and relatively stable drinking habit, I just couldn’t switch off the voices in my head that told me I’m wasn’t a muso and should stick to my loungeroom.  Phil Rigger however, the producer I worked with on Wish It All Away,  took me under his wing, and together we plucked out some little stories from my black book.

It took exactly 9 months to give birth to Wish It All Away.

I can’t tell you how  proud I was when the CD’s arrived back.  9 months of labour and a 12 song child.  An when it was born, people gathered and some even admired. But childhood for some is not easy…

Sometimes I wonder whether all these hours are worth it.  But I’m fighting these demons, and I’m setting deadlines, and I’m looking behind couches for gold coins to go towards it’s creation.

And today, ‘thanks Mark’, it was nice to know that somebody was asking for it.

Come hell or high water there will be 12 songs on a computer hard drive, either mine, or in a shiny studio, ready to be made into a disc of some sort before the AFL season is out.

You could assist by forwarding this post on and telling people to download WISH IT ALL AWAY for a donation (yep any price you like.)